Pauline Instruction For the Home

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Pauline Instruction For the Home

(With Further Reference to the General Epistles and other Scriptures)

Intended to be a Companion Text to

Four Churches


Pauline Practice In the Churches of God

© Copyrighted 1999, 2006, by Robert Edgar Patenaude, as per United States Code, Title 17,

Chapter 2, §201(a), §401(a-d) and H.R. 2589.EH, H.R. 2589.RFS


The booklet Pauline  Practice in the Churches of God tends to step around the subject of the believer's home. That characteristic of that booklet is intentional on the part of the author as he attempts to focus on the instructions of the Apostle Paul (with reference also to the General Epistles) for practice in the assembly of the church.  After speaking with a few of the readers of that booklet, the author decided to write a third installment to this series.

Pauline Instruction For the Home will include as a purpose to give more explanation of the role of women in the churches. It will provide more detailed understanding of the primacy of the institution of the home and family, as well as the Biblical reasoning for the headship responsibilities and coverture relationship of the father.  From this text, and by comparing it to its predecessors in this series, readers may strike the correct demarcation between the authority of the local church bishop (presiding elder or pastor) and the authority of the father, who is the biblical "pastor"/head of the home.

The word coverture is not familiar to many in this generation, although it is a word with very well established usage in the English language.  We give the definition here from the AMERICAN DICTIONARY OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE compiled by [i]Noah Webster in 1828:

COV'ERTURE, n. Covering ; shelter ; defense

                                                                        Milton.  Bacon

In law, the state of a married woman, who is considered as under cover, or the power of her husband, and therefore called a feme-covert, or femme-covert.  The coverture of a woman disables her from making contracts to the prejudice of herself or husband, without his allowance or confirmation.

The Biblical sense of coverture, contrary to the opinions of our detractors, is not intended to muzzle the female, as to relegate her to a person of less value to God or man.  Coverture is designed as God's means of protection for the weaker vessel (see 1 Peter 3:7; cp. Genesis 20:16); such protection being the duty of the husband (The duty of coverture over unmarried women falls to their fathers.).  This duty, after clearly seen in Scripture, is vowed during most ceremonies of matrimony in Western Christian society.  Sadly, once vowed, coverture protection is denied the female in almost every setting, public and private; in the church and in the marketplace.  This work seeks to re-establish a biblicist understanding of headship and coverture in the homes of God's people.

Our Approach from a Right Division of Scripture

We will here use the same order as we used in Pauline Practice in the Churches of God.  That order is:

  • 1. (I.) Paul's Post-Acts Epistles

2.      (II.) Paul's Acts-Period Epistles

  • 3. (III.) General Epistles

Briefly explained, the Post-Acts Epistles of the Apostle Paul are the nearest to us doctrinally and dispensationally.  They contain none of the admixture of thought-motive based on the call to the Nation of Israel; that Acts age appeal to the Jews anticipating their repentance and entering into the long-promised Davidic Kingdom under the expected return Christ (see Acts 3:19-21).

Paul's Acts Period Epistles contain the " the Jew first" element, which was dropped in the Post-Acts Epistles.  How would this affect the home?  In anticipation of the return of Jesus Christ and the establishment of the Millennial Kingdom contingent upon the sought-for and potential repentance of Israel, there was actually admonition to strongly consider not marrying at all.  There was actually the counsel to devote all of one's affections, energies and obligations to the Lord and His work!  We will see this in the Acts-Period book of 1 Corinthians.  The Post-Acts Epistles contain no such thought.  Rather, they encourage marriage and remarriage (in the case of widows).

By the time he wrote the Prison and Pastoral Epistles (Post-Acts), Paul was aware that the commencement of the "Day of the Lord" was not necessarily the next event on God's calendar.  Although the Blessed Hope was just as real, Paul was witnessing a change in God's program and in his own calling and ministry.  Whereas Paul had "for the hope of Israel [been]bound with [a] chain (Acts 28:20), he had now become "the prisoner of Jesus Christ for [us] Gentiles (Post-Acts Ephesians 3:1).  Needless to say, individual Jews could still, as at any time, be saved by faith in the Merits and Redemptive Work of Christ.  Israel as a united Nation, however, had, along with its religious leadership, "trodden under foot the Son of God, and [had] counted the blood of the [new] covenant, whereby [they were] sanctified, an unholy thing, and [had] done despite unto the Spirit of grace (see Hebrews 10:29 and context).

By the time Paul penned the Prison and Pastoral Epistles, the new man in Christ Jesus (2 Corinthians 5:14-17; Ephesians 2:15; Galatians 6:15)-the Body of Christ-the Church of Ephesians 1:17-23-the unity of all believers, Jews and Gentiles, not dependent upon national identity or prerogative, and united as members of [Christ's] body, of his flesh, and of his bones-was fully revealed, understood by the Apostle, and set forth as doctrine.

Paul, now being aware of the change in God's prophetic program relative to Israel (as summarized in Romans chapter 11), knew that homes would have to be given great emphasis for the sake of the testimony of the work of Christ and for the testimony and effectiveness of the churches of God (the local churches).  Perhaps the necessity of the headship of fathers would have to be accentuated as never before since the time that Israel's nationhood in Sinai began.  Up until the time that the law "was added because of transgressions" (Galatians 3:19), and nationhood became Israel's mode of discipline and preservation, the governing element among the people was the family.  The family was rightfully patriarchal.  This suggests, does it not, that when people are not under law but under grace, the primary structure of earthly authority is the home-not civil government-and not even the local church.  And concerning the authority of the churches: the New Testament nowhere confuses or mingles the authority of the bishop with the father.  The home in no way exists for the purpose of being manipulated by local church bishops for the purpose of building either church programs or the religious influence of the clergy.

The Primacy of the Home

Fathers need to be encouraged in our day with the reality that they can know their Bible.  Fathers can indeed "pastor" their own homes by faith and adherence to the principles of Holy Scripture.  Local churches themselves should be the covenanting together of father-led families uniting for worship, encouragement, and the furtherance of the cause of Christ.  The bishops, preaching the whole counsel of God, are to tell forth what God makes clear in His word about the home and family. When churches or their bishops interfere in the sound spiritual development of the homes, ostensibly for the purpose of building our Lord's churches, they damage the very testimony of the Work of God.

It is a premise of this work that Biblically principled families will be the proper sub-flooring for sound local churches; Christ Himself being the Foundation.  "Soul-winning," as important as it is, carries no greater weight of duty than the labor of developing Christ-honoring homes, such as will re-establish a biblical testimony perpetually from generation to generation.  See Psalm 78:1-8.  There are more passages in the New Testament on the subject of a sound family and home structure than there are on the subject of personal evangelism, or "soul-winning."  A biblically oriented and principled home will provide the greatest credibility to the message of Christ possible in this world.  This kind of home will draw the greatest respect possible to the churches of God.

Worldliness and spiritual pluralism (the sacred competing with the secular) in professing Christian homes makes our churches appear grossly disingenuous to the community where we gather and where we claim to be a testimony for Jesus Christ.  For this reason it is a further premise of this work that no man should pastor a local church who has not proven his ability to biblically order his own home (1 Timothy chapter 3; Titus chapter 1).  Any man who attempts to pastor while his wife is out from under submission or his children are obviously rebellious, worldly, or outright wicked is one of the greatest causes of reproach that a church could ever suffer.  Often, they are just this sort of disqualified bishops who are involved in destroying or hindering the spirituality and solidity of families in the church.  Pastors with families who bring reproach to the name of Christ are too often those who will push church programs and activities on to families until there is no time remaining for fathers to obey Deuteronomy chapter 6, Psalm 78, Proverbs 22:6, Ephesians chapter 6, and other instruction for fathers to "train up" their own children. Many pastors have deceived themselves into believing that a strong emphasis on "soul-winning" and church growth will compensate for spiritual or moral weakness in their own homes, and even for pastoring with tainted qualifications.

Now, we can hear our detractors say, "The fathers don't spend the time training their children anyway, so we must provide that through the church with more activities, more preaching from the pulpit, and so forth."  The reason fathers are not training their own children, is because of the clergy-laity distinction promulgated by the bishops, constantly insisting:

  1. "We, the bishops, are the keepers of the truth."
  2. "We, the bishops, are the ones with the Bible College degrees."
  3. "We, the bishops, are the ones who were ordained by a presbytery."
  4. "We, the bishops, know the Bible better than the 'laity' ever will."
  5. "We, the bishops, are 'full-time' in the ministry."
  6. "Our people must build our ministries for us, the bishops."

The above summarizes the attitude of very many bishops, which is destructive to Christian homes, and to the overall testimony of God's work.

This writing will, therefore, attempt to encourage fathers who desire a spiritual nature in both the home (where Dad is the head, cover, and "pastor"), and in the church into which their families' strengths are contributed to the work of the Savior.  This work will also strive to uplift any humble pastor who has a Bible-oriented attitude: the pastor who desires to see families, not under his thumb, but under the blessings of Christ.  That pastor will also see genuine growth in the local church due to its increased credibility among those who are without.

Now, on to our subject....

Text-By-Text Principles

(I.)Post-Acts Period Epistles

Ephesians chapters 5 and 6

Eph. 5:22-24, 33.  It cannot be more clear!  Wives are to submit themselves to their own husbands, and to be subject to their own husbands in everything. They are also to reverence their husbands.  This is in direct opposition to the modern suffrage and human rights movements, and to the United Nations Organization's conventions on women and children.  Nevertheless it is God's order, and God will richly bless those wives who obey God rather than man.  Your unbelieving or carnal churchy relatives and friends will scorn God's order, especially if you live in a country with a [ii]maternalistic culture.  Christians, especially those in the Philippines and other like countries, will require courage from Heaven to obey.  Obedience brings God's blessings, joy, and fruit in succeeding generations.

Since submission and subjection of the wives to their husbands is to be "as unto the Lord" and "as the church is subject unto Christ" it can never require the wife to perform in a manner which brings reproach to Christ.  The final authority for this submission and subjection is still the Holy Bible, not merely the husband's sinful whims or lusts.  The phrase "in everything" must be interpreted by everything biblical and Christ exalting (see Philippians 4:8).

"...unto your own husbands" (v. 22) and " their own husbands" (v. 24) will determine whether any wife is to work under a male boss who is another woman's husband.  A situation wherein a wife works eight or more hours in a day for a man who is not her own husband creates a dual headship and dual coverture.  Needless to say, here is one area where "your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour." (1 Peter 5:8) This is one method the devil uses in destroying marriages and the testimony of Christian homes, as well as pastoral ministries.  Church secretaries-women working all day for pastors who are not their own husbands, have been the downfall of many pastors and whole churches.

The following section on The Biblical Role of Women is a contribution from Dr. James Rose, a major proponent of the "Principle Approach" to education.  It provides excellent commentary on Ephesians 5:22, 24 as well as other passages.

The Biblical Role of Women

By Dr. James Rose

Necessary is a thoroughly biblical understanding of the role of a woman which, I fear, has been largely lost by 20th century evangelical Christianity, including most of the churches.  Why did God create the woman in the first place?  God tells us that she was created to be a necessary and corresponding helper (Gen. 2:18) to her husband in both "fruitfulness" and "dominion" (Gen. 1:27-28). (There is no normative biblical example to the contrary.)

Sadly, we have narrowed her role to that of a helper in fruitfulness (child bearing and child training) and have largely ignored her partnership in [iii]dominion.  Consequently, when a woman's children (fruitfulness) are grown and gone (and because she may have no biblical vision of active grandparenting), the wife pursues her OWN dominion work, or she partners in dominion with a man who is not her husband.  In other words, she "gets a job" outside the home working for another man.

In truth, her husband is most culpable here.  He married her, but he has not made a place for her in his life work as God designed.  Of course, he himself has been caught up in the wretched, anti-family effects of the industrial revolution which robbed him from his children and now prevents his wife from being his helper.  It is a terrible trap which will take much sacrifice to escape if God will give us the grace and wisdom.

The answer is for the husband to formulate a life work NOT based solely upon his own skill set but upon the skill set of his entire household.  In this manner he can include first his wife and then each of his children under his leadership in a dominion work that not only "feeds the family" but also gives his wife and children their "raison d'etre" - their reason to be.  Such a family-centered life work becomes the most successful milieu for home schooling the children since they have daily opportunity to apply their academics to real life.

Now, as to the principles violated/compromised by a wife working outside the home, there are several, but I must be brief (there are various other Scriptures that could be cited):

(1) The husband is no longer her provider (1 Tim. 5:8, etc.).

(2) The husband is no longer her protector from physical, moral or emotional harm (Gen. 20:16, etc.).  As the weaker vessel, God designed her to have a protector (cf. Num. 30, etc.).  But the workplace (even the "Christian" workplace) regularly exposes her to possible harm.

(3) Multiple authority/accountability is introduced (Matt. 6:10).  A woman is designed to serve and to please.  Her fulfillment comes from pleasing and gaining the approval of the one over her.  She is designed to develop affection for the one over her.  This has produced great heartache when that person is not her husband.

(4) An independent spirit is fostered.

(5) She is acting as another man's helper (Gen. 2:18).

(6) She is not being a "keeper at home"; therefore, the Word of God is blasphemed (Tit. 2:5; 1 Tim. 5:14).  [See Mary Pride's exposition of these passages in "The Way Home."]

(7) She violates the pattern of Christ's relationship to His church, which is to be modeled in our marriages (Eph. 5).

(8) She becomes a poor role model for the younger women (Tit. 2).

(9) She robs her husband of honor as there is no praise for her in the gates (Prov. 31:31).

(10) She becomes more susceptible to negative influences outside the home, which can become a snare to her.

(11) She invests her heart in another man's life work - "Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."

(12) She often becomes unavailable for family or assembly [local church] ministry.

(13) Women in the workforce promotes androgyny as men view women workers as "buddies," resulting in the devaluation of the biblical role of women.

(14) Women in the workforce diminishes the value of the dollar (or any other currency), making it more difficult for "one income families" to make it.

(15) When a wife works, the husband's vision for his family is shown to be incomplete because it does not include her.

If even ONE of the above principles is true, then the role of a wife working outside the home must be reconsidered.  I know you desire God's truth in your life, so I write this note NOT with a spirit of criticism but with a spirit of help and a desire to encourage you in a better way.  This better way was, for the most part, the practice of godly cultures until around 1800 A.D. when the industrial revolution began. "Ask for the ancient paths, where the good way is, and walk in it; and you shall find rest for your souls. But they said, 'We will not walk in it'" (Jer. 16:6).  May God give us the grace that Israel rejected.

(End Article)


None of what you have just read implies that women are stupid or incapable. Many women think more logically than their husbands, and are better with numbers and arithmetic as well.  Many women are well able to operate business to high levels of success.  The issues for Christian women, nevertheless, involve:

  • 1. headship,
  • 2. being a help meet for her husband,
  • 3. Christian testimony,
  • 4. Understanding vulnerability to attack from Satan,
  • 5. the sound Christian upbringing, mind set, and education of children,
  • 6. and much more.

Why, therefore, do not more Christian families consider family-based and home-based enterprises?  Why don't more local church pastors, when counseling young couples prior to marriage, encourage them to form enterprises in which the wife (and the children, too) may use her gifts and talents to the fullest capacity for the furtherance of the Christian home?  Why are young married couples who profess Christ left to believe that they must mimic the unregenerate world around them (e.g., the wife being a bread-winner, professional, or career person)?

Look at the capabilities of the woman God calls "a virtuous woman" in Proverbs 31:10-31:

  1. material quality discernment (v. 13);
  2. skilled hands; dexterity (v. 13), not to forget a willing spirit;
  3. merchandising (vv. 14, 18);
  4. management and personal care of both family and employees (v. 15);
  5. culinary expertise (v. 14, 15);
  6. real estate (v. 16);
  7. husbandry and horticulture (v. 16);
  8. physical health and development (v. 17);
  9. manufacturing  (vv. 18, 19, 24);
  10. textiles (vv. 13, 19);
  11. thrift, helps, mercy, and hospitality (v.20);
  12. apparel, rugmaking, and bedding (vv. 21, 22, 24);
  13. speaking (v. 26);
  14. housekeeping and homemaking (vv. 15, 21, 27);
  15. child rearing and elementary education (v. 28);
  16. leadership development and support in her own husband and sons! (vv. 11, 12, 23, 26-31).

We men had better begin taking better care of such a valuable asset!  Furthermore it is our duty to teach our wives even their own value and importance to our labors and to our successes.  A man is obedient to the Scriptures when he publicly praises his wife for being such a "virtuous woman."

We see in Proverbs 31:10-31 the content of the instruction to be given by the "aged women" to the "younger women" in the churches of God (Titus 2:3-5).  This ministry is almost totally ignored in modern churches, as women are too busy trying to build careers, run the church from committees and run their mouths in the business meetings.  It is clear that Christian women have plenty of opportunity to speak and to teach; but they are often unhappy until they can teach men and usurp the authority over men!  It is sad that professing Christian women can't see the effects of Eve's encounter with that angel of light in all of this (Genesis chapter 3; 2 Corinthians 11:3, 10), and the testimony of God's churches in this darkened world suffers as a result.

Eph. 5:26, 28, 33.  All right, it is clear enough.  Men, we primp and adorn our own bodies, and boast ourselves as being something when we are nothing!  It's high time to obey the word of God and love our wives.  We are not told to wait until they do something to deserve a greater measure of our genuine love. Christ didn't wait until the Church deserved redemption before He died for Her (Romans 5:6, 8).  Every member of His Body-every square inch of flesh and every bone-had been blackened by wicked, God-offending sin and debauchery!  Every member of Christ's Body deserved then, and deserves now, to fry in the Lake of Fire forever.  Thank God, as the song says, "He looked beyond [our] fault and saw [our] need."  It is time to cease examining our wives' faults and it is time to meet their needs!

Eph. 5:31.  Here is the answer to marital problems in any society where the husband is what we call a "mama's boy."  Wives are not to be expected to sacrifice the sanctity and independence of their own homes to satisfy the whims, attitudes or cultural expectations of their husbands' parents.  That does not mean that families may not dwell together in a multi-generational setting.  What it does mean is that the husband must not treat his wife as if she is his parents' adopted daughter or hired maid!  Much less should he allow his parents to treat her in such a fashion.  If parents treat their daughter-in-law in such a way, it would be better for the husband to move his bride completely away from his parents, and to solidify his oneness with his wife.  The husband is "one flesh" with his wife - not with his parents!

Eph. 6:1-3.  Simple.  Obedience of children to parents is not given because the parents are smart, or educated, or wealthy, or cultured, or good looking, or high on the social ladder - but "for [obedience] is right[!]"  Obedience is "in the Lord" and therefore never requires the child to violate the laws of God for the sinful whims of either parent.

Verses 2 and 3 refer us to Exodus 20:12 - the Fifth Commandment.  This is one of the most basic lessons in dispensational right division of Scripture (2 Timothy 2:15).  Paul told us that honoring father and mother is the first commandment, of all of the Mosaic law, which contains a promise for faithful observance.  The promise to the children of Israel under the law was "that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee."  The land through which Israel was sojourning at the time God gave this law to Moses was not the land God was to give them.  God eventually gave them Canaan.  Thus, obedience to father and mother meant a long life in Canaan (Palestine; Israel).  No Christian in this age is promised long life in Canaan for obeying the Fifth Commandment.

The promise to the New Testament saint is "that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth."  "The earth" in Bible interpretation does not equal "the land."  Israel's promises are certainly earthly, but they concern a particular part of the earth; the land promised to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob.  The New Testament Christian's promises are heavenly (Philippians 3:20,21).  We are waiting on the earth for our High Calling, but our hopes are not tied to any particular geographic location in this planet.

Ephesians was written after the close of the Acts period. Ephesians was written after the end of Apostolic hopes for the repentance and belief of Israel and the return of Jesus Christ to establish the Davidic Kingdom (see Acts 3:19-21; 15:15-18) in that generation. During the Acts period, it was not in the mode of teaching to emphasize long life on earth as they knew the earth (and as we still know it). Acts-period believers had the full expectation of the Second Advent in their generation, along with the fulfillment of Peter's words in 2 Peter 3:7-14, which makes no illusion to a prolonged "church age." Hence they were waiting for a Davidic Kingdom to be followed by a new heaven and a new earth. [iv]They were not looking for a "church age."  At the final rejection of the offer then being made to Israel's leaders (see Acts chapter 28), however, Paul knew that long life on the now existing earth would now be a possibility for believers, even though their hope should remain for a calling away (translation; rapture).

The practical point for the home is that Children who do not obey and honor their parents should not expect, in the least, for God to allow them to live a very long life.  The late American Evangelist Oliver B. Green preached and wrote on this subject declaring that he himself, although forgiven, did not expect to live a long life because he had not been obedient to his parents when he was young.  Brother Green was in Heaven before he reached age sixty.  Thank the Lord for His grace in giving Oliver Green the effectiveness in ministry unknown to most preachers who reach age ninety.

Eph. 6:4.  Fathers help their children to an early grave by failing to train them in obedience.  Obedience is not inherent!  Sin and rebellion is inherent.  Without proper training, children are little devils by age three, and obnoxious to others.  With proper training, no child need reach his or her third birthday without the ability to sit under preaching for several hours without being disruptive or distracting others.  The [v]training is not very difficult, but must be carried out conscientiously.  This is the father's responsibility, and not Mom's job!  Mom, though, sure can help.

America's Puritan forefathers and our American [vi]Baptist forefathers were the Sunday School teachers of their own children. Children of all ages were trained to sit and listen attentively to their pastor.  Most sermons of that day (1600 to 1850) were two hours or more in length.  There was no separate Sunday School for children, nor was there "Junior Church" or a "Children's Church."  Young children sat quietly with adults.  Later, often around the dinner table, fathers would re-teach the pastor's sermon to the children, often using catachismal (question and answer) technique.  Fathers were the pastor of the home.  Although the local church pastor was appropriately held in right high regard as the man of God, the children grew up learning to discern those who desired church members to be under bondage to themselves instead of to the Lord.

From My Sermon Notes


Its Practical Manifestation

(Ephesians 5:22 through 6:9)

Ephesians chapters 1-3 are doctrinal.  Chapters 4-6 are practical.  In chapters 4-6 you first have the relationship of the Body to the Head.  Secondly we see the relationship of the members one to another.  See 5:1-21, which ends, "Submitting yourselves one to another."

What follows is practical-regarding family and social relationships.

Points to consider thoroughly:

-We must be able to define "one new man." (Ephesians 2:15; cp. 2 Corinthians 5:17; Galatians 6:15)

-Membership in Christ's Body is not 'ecclesiastical' in an earthly sense.

-Membership in Christ's Body is applicable at home, in business, as well as in the local church-but it begins at home.

Mankind is Discussed in Six Relationships.  Six is the number of man.  In each case the subordinate member is considered first.

  1. Wives-submit (see Titus 2:5, "...obedient to their own husbands; 1 Peter 3:6)

-as the church to Christ-

Object: husbands (5:22).

  1. Husbands-love

-as Christ loves the Church-

Object: wives (5:25).

  1. Children-obey

-in the Lord-

Object: parents (6:1).

  1. Fathers-bring up

-in the nurture and admonition of the Lord-

Object: the Lord (6:4).

  1. Servants-obey

-as unto Christ-

Object: masters (6:5).

  1. Masters-forbear

-as the servant of Christ-

Object: your Master,              Christ (6:9)

Divine order which must not be broken or violated:  Headship of the man was instituted from creation, and not merely since, or as a consequence of the fall.  This runs through all dispensations.  The woman by her submission and the husband by his love may, in their home life, give a practical exposition of the Body of Christ (The Church) to the "principalities and powers" (3:10 with 1 Corinthians 11:10).

Why Paul does not use the word "obey" in Ephesians 5:22"Obey" is used in Titus 2:2 and 1 Peter 3:6.  The wording in Ephesians 5 and 6, however, compares the obedience of the wife to that of the children and servants, revealing that submission is a quite voluntary and joyful obedience with a spiritual understanding of God's purposes in His Son's Church.  The wife here desires to be on open display before angelic beings as a testimony of a much higher and eternal relationship.

            -Submission/obedience is not because of any inferiority, but out of recognition of God's order.

            -The wife knows she may manifest the relationship of the Church to Christ.  Her motive is to submit.

            -The husband, besides having the common human elements of kindness and affection, may manifest the relationship of Christ to His Church.  His motive is to love.

What change there would be in many homes!  What a foundation to begin a home on!  To think that the union of a man and wife carry with it the sacred privilege of giving forth a practical manifestation of the one Body of Christ!

The unity of the Spirit (Ephesians 4:3) is further shadowed in the marriage relationship by the fact that "they two shall be one flesh" (5:31).  This is no secret, but is found in Genesis 2:24.

            -It is a mystery in the modern non-Scriptural sense of the word.

            -But see Jesus' words in Matthew 19:5, 6....

"...For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?  Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh.  What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder."

How two individuals can be no longer two, but one, may be a mystery to some, but Paul is not speaking of the mystery of marriage-but of Christ and the Church!

The blessed truth that soars above principalities and powers, and stays not its flight until it reaches the very right hand of God, also stoops to the humble and secluded life of the home, sanctifies the domestic relations of husband and wife, gives a new spring to the child's obedience and the father's care, stirs a new motive in the servant's labor and the master's attitude.  Here the doctrine of the Church touches Earth!

Does it touch us?  If not, we miss half the sweetness and reality of the truth.  If it isn't changing our homes, then we are mere intellectuals and not people of faith.

What if it isn't touching the other member?  Then let us fulfill our portion.  Let the wife submit to her loveless husband-and let the husband love his unsubmissive wife.  God will not withhold the blessings of the practical experience of truth!

[End From My Sermon Notes]



Col. 3:18 through 4:1.  This is a condensed repeat of Ephesians 5 and 6.  Study for comparisons.

First Timothy

1 Tim. 2:9, 10.  Obviously, if women in the church assembly are to adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or pearls, or costly array; but (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works, this mind set will be practiced and perfected in the home.  To put on this front in the assembly, and practice differently in the home is sheer hypocrisy, and a reproach both upon the home and God's Church.  If a woman would not wear a particular item of apparel in the assembly on Sunday morning, then why would she ever wear it at all?!  The rule in this author's home is that all clothing worn, in respect to modesty, decency, type and style, must be suitable for wear in the most formal setting in the assembly of God's people.  This does not mean that we would want to wear dirty or overly worn and ragged clothing in the assembly, but it does mean that we own no style or type of clothing that we would consider inappropriate in front of the saints at any time.

"Modest" is properly defined by Noah Webster's Dictionary of 1828 as:

  • 1. Properly, restrained by a sense of propriety ; hence, not forward or bold; not presumptuous or arrogant; not boastful ; as a modest youth; a modest man.
  • 2. Not bold or forward ; as a modest maid. The word may be thus used without reference to chastity.

The blushing beauties of a modest maid.


  • 3. Not loose ; not lewd.

Mrs. Ford, the honest woman, the modest wife.                              Shak

The foregoing body of definition would seem to be adequate.  The Etymologist Webster, however, goes on to godly eloquence of Bible commentary in his definitions of the word modesty, which we feel has value to our discussion of 1 Timothy chapter 2.

MODESTY, n. [L. modestia.] That lowly temper which accompanies a moderate estimate of one's own worth and importance.  This temper when natural, springs in some measure from timidity, and in young and inexperienced persons, is allied to bashfulness and diffidence. In persons who have seen the world, and lost their natural timidity, modesty springs no less from principle than from feeling, and is manifested by retiring, unobtrusive manners, assuming less to itself than others are willing to yield, and conceding to others all due honor and respect, or even more than they expect or require.

  1. Modesty, as an act or series of acts, consists in humble, unobtrusive deportment, as opposed to extreme boldness, forwardness, arrogance, presumption, audacity or impudence.  Thus we say, the petitioner urged his claims with modesty ; the speaker addressed the audience with modesty.
  2. Moderation ; decency.              Shak.
  3. In females, modesty has the like character as in males ; but the word is used also as synonymous with chastity, or purity of manners.  In this sense, modesty results from purity of mind, or from the fear of disgrace and ignominy fortified by education and principle.  Unaffected modesty is the sweetest charm of female excellence, the richest gem in the diadem of their honor.

Who could deny that Mr. Webster aptly taught biblical principle for the homes of believers?!  His definitions speak to our attitudes and manners as well as to our style of apparel.  And if "shamefacedness" be properly defined: Bashfulness ; excess of modesty, then can such traits be properly seen in the assembly or in public without being first learned in the home?

1 Tim. 3:1-13.  We covered this context in pauline practice in the churches of god as it speaks to the offices in the local church.  Obviously, the homes of the bishop and deacon are to be models for the homes of all believers.  Therefore a biblical home is....

  • 1. blameless in the community;
  • 2. where a man has only one wife;
  • 3. vigilant;
  • 4. sober;
  • 5. known for having good behavior;
  • 6. hospitable;
  • 7. a place of teaching;
  • 8. where alcoholic beverage would not be enjoyed;
  • 9. where the dwellers don't strike out in rage;
  • 10. where money is earned honestly without greed;
  • 11. where you will find patience practiced;
  • 12. where there are no brawls;
  • 13. where dwellers are not covetous; not idolatrous;
  • 14. where the father rules well;
  • 15. where children are in subjection; are serious;
  • 16. where godly experience is gained;
  • 17. one which has a good testimony in the world; the bills are paid;
  • 18. where the mystery of the faith (see Romans 16:25) is held in a pure conscience;
  • 19. where wives are serious about eternal things; not slanderers; are faithful.

How will these characteristics be manifested in "the house of God, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and ground of the truth" if they are not first learned and perfected in the homes of believers?

1 Tim. 4:2.  A clergyman who forbids marriage to any persons as a matter of doctrine is practicing "doctrines of devils."  A God-called preacher will clearly enunciate Bible prerequisites and conditions for Christ-honoring marriage.  Any man of God has the duty of 'denial of endorsement' toward any marital union not meeting scriptural scrutiny.  Teaching that marriage, as in institution, should be avoided or deferred (now that the [vii]Kingdom is not imminent), however, is to teach Satan's dogma.  An example of this is when Roman Catholicism, like eastern mystical religion, forbids marriage to an entire class of men called "priests."  Another example would be when a Baptist pastor, not wanting to let go of a young church worker, either forbids marriage outright or attempts to dissuade him from marriage for the advantage of the ministry of that pastor.  Many religious cults forbid marriage without strict approval from the leader(s).

Rightly dividing the word of truth (2 Timothy 2:15) and comparing spiritual things with spiritual (1 Corinthians 2:13), we study 1 Timothy 4:2 along side of 1 Corinthians chapter 7.   First Corinthians chapter 7 was written during the Acts history.  First Timothy is a "Prison Epistle" written well after the close of the Acts history.   Remember that when Paul wrote 1 Corinthians, there was yet remaining the very real expectation that that generation of Israel might repent toward Christ (Acts 3:19-21) and that the world would be plunged into the time of Jacob's Trouble (Daniel's 70th Week), to be followed by the Second Advent and the Reign of Christ. (Review our comments under Ephesians 6:1-3.)  Under such expectations, why marry at all?  Why shouldn't the believer devote all of his resources, time and energies to the Person and service of the soon-coming Jesus Christ?  Why should the saint "[care] for the things of the world, how he may please his wife?"  If "the time is [so] short" then why not remain "without [the] carefulness [of marriage]...[and care] for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord[?]"

The point is that in the Epistles to Timothy marriage is never discouraged in the least, either for single young women or for widows.  There almost seems to be a "hurry up" about it, too (see 1 Timothy 5:14).  There is no discouragement to matrimony.  To the contrary, it is very highly encouraged.  In regard to marriage, the time being short is never mentioned in the same context, as it clearly is in 1 Corinthians.  Paul recognizes in the Prison Epistles that the Church could possibly settle in to its own prolonged age (note again Ephesians 6:3).....anyway, he could no longer say, "the time is short."  We shall deal more with this subject when we reach the Acts-period epistles and First Corinthians.

1 Tim 5:4, 16.  Children or nephews of widows (especially of widows above age 60) are to receive their widows into their own homes and care for them, and are not to lay this responsibility upon the Church.  The church is to be a last resort for the care of widows, when there are no children or nephews to care for them.  The Bible doesn't teach the responsibility of civil government-the state-to care for widows.  This is a matter of family and home.  In the United States a wicked attitude has emerged-"Corban" (Mark 7:11)-that "we pay our taxes, so why shouldn't the government take care of Grandma? Grandma has Social Security, and Medicare will pay the rest home where we have imprisoned her."  This attitude was taught to the American people by the Fabian Socialist Franklin Roosevelt and his "New Deal," and exacerbated by Lyndon Johnson's "War on Poverty." This all had been previously facilitated by the industrial revolution of the 19th Century, and made worse by the American people's growing love of being an urban people.  The elderly were much easier and better cared for on the farms in generations long gone by.

1 Tim. 6:1-3.  The instruction for servants and masters here concerns the home.  The Bible recognizes "servants...under the yoke" (1 Corinthians 7:20-24; Philemon), and provides no platform for the abolition of slavery as an institution.  There are millions of slaves around the world in AD 2006 whether we realize it or not, and there will be slaves until the Second Advent (see Revelation 18:13).  The Bible frankly instructs the slave concerning his attitude toward his master, and instructs the master's attitude toward his slave. If you want to become an activist for the worldwide abolition of slavery-help yourself.  You will be fighting a losing cause.  If you become a Gospel evangelist and win both masters and servants to Jesus Christ, you will be on the winning side, and you will provide true eternal help to both master and servant.

1 Tim. 6:6-10, 17-19.  This is great instruction for the home, and simple, too.  Contentment versus the snare and evil of wealth is the subject.  No, money is not evil; it is a potential tool to better provide for your family and serve the Lord.  "...the love of money is the root of all evil..."  Most modern families do love money.  Many family breakups involve mismanagement of money, along with covetousness, which is idolatry (Colossians 3:5).  If your family is active in a local church as it should be, and if the pastors are biblicist and preach the whole council of God, then you may expect to be charged as per verses 17-19.  Don't get offended and the Lord will bless and use the resources he has entrusted to you.

Second Timothy

2 Tim. 1:5 with 3:15.  There is no direct instruction in these verses, but there is concrete admonition from example.  Here we have a mother and a grandmother; both diligent in teaching a young boy named Timothy.  Timothy saw in these two women the "unfeigned faith."  These ladies were not playing the religious game, nor were they hypocrites!  Under instruction by Mom and Grandma, we are told, not only was Timothy made wise unto salvation knowing the Holy Scriptures, but also he was provided an atmosphere wherein he would be sensitive to the call of God and the recognition of his gifts.  These gifts were later stirred up for use under Apostolic authority, God used Timothy mightily, and it all began in the home!

The application is apparent!  The home atmosphere, from early childhood, is where children are to be made wise unto salvation.  The church, obviously, should be a Gospel school, but parents should not wait for the church, the Sunday School teacher, or the pastor to lead their children to Jesus Christ.  Believing parents are the principal evangelists of their own children.  This will require "unfeigned faith."  You must have what is real, because your children will see right through your hypocrisies!

2 Tim. 3:2.  Wide-scale epidemic disobedience to parents is a paradigm of the last days of the "Church Age."  Are your children practicing disobedience to you?  Many parents think that [viii]"disobedience" is innocuous until children reach their teenage years.  The reality is that children are practicing disobedience from their sin-perverted will from infancy.  Disobedience to parental and other adult authority and the free exercise of the child's will must be corrected-nipped in the bud-from its very first manifestations.  Christian parents must never indicate to a child that they are willing to tolerate rebellious exhibitions of will.  The children must be taught to obey words like "NO!," and "DO NOT TOUCH!," and "Sit down!," and "Come here!," and "Don't move from that chair!" from crib age. Parents must enforce these words, first with conscientious training, and then with instant and unabashed corporal correction when necessary.

A well child from twelve to eighteen months of age should be able to sit quietly in one location in the company of a parent for at least thirty minutes.  From age twenty-four to thirty months, the well child should be able to sit quietly in the company of a parent for one full hour minimum.  Two hours of noiseless sitting in one chair with a parent can easily be achieved by age forty-two to forty-eight months.

Tantrums, fits, and noisy exhibitions of will at any age should be immediately dealt with in such a way that the child will know that it is not to his or her advantage to use such behavior.  The child should associate his own willful behavior with receiving pain and severe discomfort from adult authority.  Simply put, the thought of a wooden instrument painfully struck to the buttocks or meaty portion of the back of the thighs should come instantly to the mind of the child at any temptation to throw a tantrum.


1. When corrected by one parent, a young child will often run to the other parent for sympathy.  The child must learn immediately that Mom will back up Dad's discipline, and that Dad will back up Mom's discipline.  Second spankings may be necessary from the second parent(!) until the child learns not to run to the second parent for sympathy, but simply to obey.

2. Little swats do not substitute for sound use of the rod.  Little swats just aggravate the child.  Spank for long-term and long-lasting effect.  Spanking must get the idea across to the child that disobedience and rebellion are painful and uncomfortable.

3. Young children, addicted to being held in an adult's arms, will sometimes collapse on the floor to rebel against being put down.  At other times they will stiffen their bodies to rebel against being sat in a chair or on the lap.  Parents should not try to convince themselves that this is not rebellion.  It is rebellion which the Bible clearly teaches is "as the sin of witchcraft" (1 Samuel 15:23).

4. A child's screaming or crying to get his or her way is also rebellion.  The parent who tries to deny this is only causing years of tension and stress and weariness.  Even screaming and crying should be dealt with by the use of the rod-and immediately. But first make sure that the screaming, crying and hyperactivity are not induced by excess sugar, drugs or food additives. If you are feeding your children a nerve-wracking diet, they are not the ones in need of a whipping!

The parents must win in the war of will with the child.  The child must be taught to surrender his or her will to the parent from crib age.  The Bible formula is very direct and goes as follows:

Proverbs 13:24He that spareth his rod hateth his son: But he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

Proverbs 19:18Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.

Proverbs 20:30The blueness of a wound cleanseth away evil: so do stripes the inward parts of the belly.

Proverbs 22:6, 15Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.  ...  Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

Proverbs 23:13, 14Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.

Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shall deliver his soul from hell.

Proverbs 29:15, 17The rod and reproof give wisdom: But a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.  ...

Correct thy son and he shall give thee rest; Yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.

The instruction you have just read is universal and pan-dispensational, and is applied as follows:

1. If you say that you love your children but you don't use the rod of correction when they practice rebellion, disobedience, disrespect, misbehavior, noisiness, disruptive behavior, destructive willfulness (e.g. roaming hands on other people's private belongings!), the Bible says that you are a liar!  An honest man beats his children with a rod for such behavior.  A Bible believer totally disregards his national and ethnic culture, grandparents, in-laws and unsaved or worldly friends, and obeys the word of God!  The Bible believer knows that God's wisdom is greater than cultural wisdom; he beats his children with a rod!  He beats them often and publicly when necessary!  The Biblically disciplined child will know that he or she cannot hide in a crowd.

2. Correct use of the rod includes the concept of "hope."  If you don't begin the use of the rod from the child's crib age, beginning when the child is at age two will be difficult.  The later you wait to begin the consistent use of the rod, the less "hope" you will have of success.   The more the child screams and yells, the longer you should apply the rod.  Your goal should be the surrender of the child's will to your will, and ultimately to God's will.   If you stop while the child is still yelling for mercy, you lose!  The child must become quietly submissive under the rod.

3. Correct use of the rod will sometimes produce blueness; that is, a bruise.  The occasional bruise given in loving corporal discipline will not kill; neither will it have debilitating results. This bruise, if seen by many government social workers, however, could bring charges of child abuse.  This is why you should know the correct area on the child's body to which to apply the rod: an area not obvious to others.  The bruise will not warp your child's psyche.  The bruise will cleanse away evil.  Stripes (red lash marks) will cleanse the child's inward parts.  These will control the old sinful nature until the child can find Christ as the remedy, and later if he or she, as a Christian, walks, from-time-to-time, according to the old nature.

4. If your child departs from the way he should go when he is grown, count yourself to have failed.  You may thank the Lord for His grace, and go on....but don't change the word of God to mean (as many say) "Well, I tried to bring them up right, and we hope that they will return to the right way."  Proverbs 22:6 says nothing about leaving the way and then returning.  We pervert the word of God to hide our own inconsistencies in raising our children under loving but firm biblical discipline.  If we obey God consistently, our children will not depart from the way!

5. Our own stinking pride would not admit that our children's misbehavior is often foolishness!  We act as if we are not embarrassed by their brash, noisy disruptiveness in public places.  If we are not truly embarrassed, it is because we don't understand God's standard for the raising and training of our children; thus we become the fools!  Foolishness in the heart of the child is to be driven out by the rod!  Children require training in public propriety because we are not raising them to be children, but to be adults!

6. We will not kill our children by consistently and properly applying a rod (not a bat, baton, club, or sharp instrument) to the buttocks or meaty part of the legs behind the thighs.  A flexible dowel rod (or plastic balloon stick) that has some quick whip to it, producing a sharp sting, is very suitable.  A green "switch" (small branch) from a tree does the same thing.  A ping pong paddle with the rubber surfaces removed also does a good job.  A longer, narrower paddle can be cut from three/eighths inch thick plywood with a jig saw or coping saw.

7. The correct use of the rod will create a mind set in the child that makes him more receptive to Biblical Truth at an earlier age.  The disciplined child is "hopefully" likely to understand the Gospel and other Bible principles earlier than the undisciplined, foolish acting child.

                8. The rod and reproof give wisdom because they prepare the mindset and attitude of the child to receive Truth.  Failure to use the rod contributes to the child's vulnerability to every source of lies, deception, and deceit.  When parents fail in the area of rod use, and ignore the behavior of the child thinking, "Oh, the child will grow out of this silly behavior soon enough," Mom will find herself ashamed of her own beloved children.

                9. Just think how much more rest you would have in your home if your children were consistently corrected with the rod.  Think how much quieter your house would be.  Think of how much sweeter your fellowship across the dinner table would be without the frustrations of disobedient, noisy, sloppy, foolish children.  Think how many more soft and sweet conversations you could have with your mate, even in the near presence of your children.  Think how much more you could enjoy the services at church when your children know how to sit with you quietly, not disturbing you, others around you, or the preacher!

You have a choice.  You can raise your children according to the paradigm of these last perilous days, or you can defy the world and the devil, raising your children to positively astound the people of your nation and culture.  You can bring your children up to be a witness to the Truth of the Bible, or you can lazily allow your children to act like fools and idiots, and set themselves up for destruction along with the world.  You make the call!

What are some societal consequences of whole generations of Americans turning their backs on Bible principles of child discipline?  Read the following report from the British Broadcasting Company to find out!

From the British Broadcasting Company, February 25, 2000

            An increasing number of American children under the age of four have been prescribed drugs which affect the brain.  Toddlers have been given stimulants and antidepressants to control their behavior.  But a report published in the Journal of the American Medical Association says no one knows what affect they can have on very young children.

[Voice of correspondent] Helen [[ix]Sewell] with BBC Science:

"Children across the United States are increasingly being prescribed mind-altering drugs which have only been approved for adults.  Researchers at the University of Maryland studied the medical records of more than two hundred thousand [200,000] youngsters, aged between two and four.

"Their work has revealed that the use of both stimulants and antidepressants is becoming more widespread.  Dr. Julie [Vito], who led the research team, is concerned about the use of such powerful drugs because their affects on very young children have not been monitored.  She says one study showed that four to six year-olds can react differently from older children to a particular drug.  But there are no studies of the side affects on children under four.

"Dr. [Vito] is also worried about research which shows that antidepressants don't work on children aged five to nine.  She says [a] child's physiological and mental development could be impeded by the long-term use of such drugs.  She questions whether it's appropriate to diagnose very young children with conditions such as Attention Deficit Disorder, Hyperactivity and depression.  And she urges families with children on these psychiatric drugs to watch carefully for new behavioral problems and personality changes."         

 [End BBC Report]

Toddlers don't need stimulants or antidepressants to have their behavior controlled!  They need deliberate training backed up with a willingness on the part of the parents to consistently use the Bible prescription-the rod!  Mind-altering drugs are used guessed it-to alter their mind!  The admission has been made.  "...[a] child's physiological and mental development could be impeded by the long-term use of such drugs."  If the one-world United Nations Organization and its World Health Organization are going to control generations to come, they must "impede" the "mental development" of our children.  What better way is there to do this than with drugs?!   The globalists would throw parents in prison on "human rights" violations for applying the rod to their children, and then control the children with mind-altering drugs!


Tit. 2:2.  Instruction for "aged [e.g. of full age; mature] men"

  • 1. sober,... Not mad or insane ; not wild, visionary or heated with passion ; having the regular exercise of cool dispassionate reason.
  • 2. grave,... Solemn ; sober ; serious ; opposed to gay, light or jovial ; as a man of grave deportment ; a grave character. Plain ; not gay ; not showy or tawdry ; as a grave suit of clothes.
  • 3. temperate, ... Moderate in the indulgence of the appetites and passions ; as temperate in eating and drinking ; temperate in pleasures ; temperate in speech. Cool ; calm ; not marked with passion ; not violent ; as a temperate discourse or address ; temperate language.
  • 4. Sound in faith, in charity, in patience. Founded in truth ; firm ; strong ; valid ; solid ; that cannot be overthrown or refuted ; as sound reasoning ; a sound argument ; a sound objection ; sound doctrine ; sound principles. Right ; correct ; well founded ; free from error ; orthodox. 2 Tim. i

Tit. 2:3-5.  Instruction for "aged [e.g. of full age; mature] women ... be ..." 

  • 1. in behavior as becometh holiness, ... ...purity of heart or dispositions ; sanctified affections ; piety ; moral goodness ; but not perfect.
  • 2. not false accusers, ... She won't have this problem if she stays under her head-her husband.
  • 3. not given to much wine (e.g. she wouldn't enjoy drinking alcohol), ...
  • 4. teachers of good things, ... See Philippians 4:8, for example(s).

"That they may teach the young women ..."

STOP!  Wait just one moment!  Who says women can't teach?!  Who says women have nothing to offer the church?!  Who says women are left out?!  Who says women don't have a voice?!  Is the problem not really that our churches have so few women of full age in regard to Christian maturity?  For several years in the Philippines, this author's wife conducted a weekly session which had been dubbed, "Holy Women Study Fellowship." The women in attendance used, as a guide, the booklet [x]Holy Women by Pastor James W. Knox.  Women really can be fulfilled in a biblical ministry without demanding a voice in distinction from their head (husband, or father if single) in the running of the local church.  Why two voices (or two votes) from "one flesh?"  Yet, women who are mature in Christ and walking in godliness may "teach the young women ..."

1.  to be sober,...    See the definition under Titus 2:2.

2.  to love their husbands, ...   Instruction is not to include how to             manipulate their husbands.

3.  to love their children, ...   This does not include instruction on how to get the most out of the neighborhood day care center while Mom goes to work all day.

4. to be discreet, ...   Prudent ; wise in avoiding errors or evil, and in selecting the best means to accomplish a purpose ; circumspect (Literally, looking on all sides ; looking around. Hence, Cautious ; prudent ; watchful on all sides ; examining carefully all the circumstances that may affect a determination, or a measure to be adopted.)  ; cautious ; wary ; not rash.

5.  [to be] chaste, ...   Pure from all unlawful commerce of sexes.  Applied to persons before marriage, it signifies pure from all sexual commerce, undefiled ; applied to married persons, true to the marriage bed. Free from obscenity.

While they behold your chaste conversation.

1 Peter iii.

6.  [to be] keepers at home, ...  The Bible simply does not provide any justification for a wife and mother, or any young woman,  to find employment away from her own home.  This booklet has already provided sufficient commentary on Scriptures which teach how a wife may contribute to the income and success of her home while still being a keeper "at home."  Loving their husbands and children properly requires that women be "at home," and not under the employ of any who do not have as their primary interest the solidity of the homes and marriages of Christian women.  When a woman works for some other woman's husband, she must come to realize that the motive of the boss is other than the peace, harmony and sweetness of her home.  He does not treat her with respect to the needs of her husband and children, but with respect to his own needs and desires and those of his own family.

Military Threat to Christian Homes and Womanhood

How much hope is there that this generation of government, the education machine, the culture machine, and the world in general, might understanding that our daughters are to be "keepers at home?"  Because professing Christians have acquiesced to the world for so long, and have failed to take a stand for biblical Christian home life, there is little hope left.

We firmly believe that in the United States our families will, before long, have to face a renewed compulsory military service; a military draft!  When a draft is re-instituted we fear it will include our daughters as well as our sons.  Let me quote a highly distinguished retired (and recently deceased previous to this edition) U.S. Army colonel by the name of David [xi]Hackworth.  We heard Colonel Hackworth interviewed on the Voice of America, Saturday night (East Asia time), March 11, 2000. Hackworth said:

I advocate the Universal Military Training (UMT), but I think it should include boys and girls; exactly at age eighteen, everyone mentally and physically fit; and there would be absolutely no one giving a deferment from this; they would go in the service, and they would serve eighteen months or whatever to serve their country; not so much only in the military, but they could in environmental roles, [in] inter-city roles, [in] working in hospitals, working with police forces; they could serve their country in some way.  ['Cause] There is a certain price of admission for belonging to this country. And certain countries like Germany and Israel have such a system where every young person serves.

As you will see from Colonel Hackworth's credentials when you read the endnotes, he is someone to whom the U.S. military planners are listening.  Our daughters are not likely to be left alone, and we fathers will have to take a stand somewhere down the road.   At the time of this edition, this author has four daughters, aged 26, 21, 9 and 5.  I am taking my stand publicly right now!

Now to continue to describe the Bible curriculum for young women....

7. [to be] good, ...   Having moral qualities best adapted to [her] design and use, or the qualities which God's law requires ; virtuous ; pious ; religious ; applied to persons, and opposed to bad, vicious, wicked, evil.

Yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die.  Rom. v.

Conformable to moral law ; virtuous ; applied to actions.

In all things showing thyself a pattern of good works.  Tit. ii.

Well qualified ; able ; skillful ; or performing duties with skill and fidelity.  Ready ; dexterous.  Kind ; benevolent ; affectionate ; faithful.  Promotive of happiness ; pleasant ; agreeable ; cheering ; gratifying.  Honorable ; fair ; unblemished ; unimpeached.  Elegant ; polite. Compassionable ; social ; merry. Comely.  Friendly.

8. [to be] obedient to their own husbands, ...  Not obedient to some other woman's husband on some job!

The purpose of all of this is "that the word of God be not blasphemed."  The purpose is not to attempt to earn Heaven.  It is a matter of testimony, not for our salvation, but to bring others to understand God's holiness and the sinner's need of salvation.  The purpose does not include being a Pharisee-believing that we are better than others-or that we don't deserve Hell.  The purpose is that others will at least respect the word of God and will respect those who attempt obedience to it (see 1 Corinthians 15:34).  It is so easy to understand why so many blaspheme, mock and ridicule the Bible, when we see so few professing Christian women ever reaching such measure of maturity as is dealt with in Titus chapter 2.

Tit. 2:6-8.  Now for our "young men:" Most of these characteristics have already been defined in previous sections.  What is neglected in obedience to this passage?  How many of our young men know doctrine from God's word.  This is not instruction only for young preachers, but for all young men!  It appears that fathers are to be doctrinal teachers to their own sons.

Alright!  Take a look around at the young men in your church congregation.  Upon what things are their fond attentions resting?  Sports?  Computer games?  Automobiles or motorcycles?  Clothing trends? Girls?  So how many of the young men can intelligently and heartfeltly defend the great doctrines of the Bible?   This author would be accused of denying childhood to children, and youth to the young.  Childhood has as a purpose to train the young individual to be a spiritual, Christ-honoring, evangelizing Christian adult.  I am not going to raise my sons to be basketball celebrities, but to be missionaries!  I will rather that my sons, like Charles Spurgeon and Ira Sankey, be prepared to serve Christ and to love the souls of men in their teen years, than to be millionaires, scientists, or presidents...or sports figures.

Tit. 2:9, 10.  Instruction for the home includes having the correct attitude and service from and toward servants, when there are any (see Ephesians 6:5-9).  Servants are to be honest with their masters ("not purloining") and be faithful ("showing all good fidelity").  The purpose is to "adorn the doctrine of God our Savior in all things."   From this chapter we see that doctrine has to do with much more than a "Confession of Faith" sitting in some church filing cabinet.  Doctrine has to do with how men and women walk, talk, study, think, labor, witness, love, pray, and wait for Jesus Christ to return!  Read the remainder of Titus chapters 2 and 3 (e.g. 2:11-13) and watch what the grace of God is teaching all of God's true children. This must be practiced first and always in the home!

(II.) Acts-Period Epistles


Rom. 7:2, 3 with 1 Cor. 7:39.  Marriage is until the death of one of the spouses.  No mind set should be allowed to develop in young people that says, "Well, if this doesn't work out, we'll just get a divorce and go our separate ways."  This is the mind set of the modern Bible-rejecting humanist, not of the Christian.  From childhood, parents must instill in the minds of their children that marriage is a picture of Christ and His Church, between which there shall never be a divorce.  Remember that if you teach Biblical thinking in your home, but then send your children to be taught all day by unbelievers, liberal Christians or Catholics, your instruction is likely to be undone-but for the Grace of God.

First Corinthians

1 Cor. 7:1, 8, 26, 27, 29, 32, 34, 40.  It was good in that Acts dispensation for either a man or a woman to remain entirely single and pure, and to give himself or herself wholly into the Lord's work, waiting for the Second Coming of Christ and the Kingdom Age. This is exactly what the believers before AD 63, or so, fully had the right to expect to take place within their lifetime.  The revelation God had given to that point indicated that had Israel as a nation repented, then God would have sent Jesus Christ back to the earth (Acts 3:19ff.).  At the giving of First Corinthians no "Church Age" longer than the life span of the Apostles themselves was ever anticipated by man.

The connection of 1 Corinthians chapter 7 to the Kingdom and to the early Acts period believers waiting for the Kingdom is shown by a comparison of Matthew 19:1-12 with 1 Corinthians ch. 7 and one verse in 1 Corinthians ch. 9.  Matthew ch. 19 is a part of the third period of the Lord's earthly ministry (Matthew 16:21 through 20:34), involving the rejection of the King.  Israel as a whole did exactly that again in the Acts period: they rejected their King under the preaching of the Apostles. Israel rejected their final opportunity before the judgment prophesied in Matthew 22:7 (the destruction of Jerusalem in AD 70).  The Acts period believers, however, did not know this final rejection would happen until it did happen (Acts ch. 28), and did not know that the result would be a prolonged westward movement of Christianity around the globe, which we now call the (Gentile) Church Age.

Matthew chapter 19                                             1 Corinthians chapter 7

"...If the case of the man be so with his wife,            "...It is good for a man not to touch a

it is not good to marry." (v. 10)                               woman." (v.1)

                                                                                "For I would that all men were even as I myself [unattached to a wife]." (v.7a)

                                                                                "I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I." (v.8)

                                                                                "Now concerning virgins...this is good for the present distress [that being that the time is short-v.29]...that it is good for a man so to be [unattached by marriage] ." (vv.25,26)

                                                                                "...if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you. (v.28)

                                                                                "...and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well. (v.37)

                                                                                "...he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better." (v.38)

                                                                                "...she is happier if she so abide [unmarried], after my judgement:... (v.40)

"...and there be eunuchs, which have made                             "Let every man abide in the same calling

themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of                    wherein he was called." (v.20)

heaven's sake." (v.12)                                              "Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God." (v.24)

                                                                                "...Art thou loosed from a wife?  Seek not a wife. (v.27b.)

                                                                                "the time is short [the Kingdom is imminent]: it remaineth that both they that have wives be as though they had none. (v. 29)

                                                                                "...He that is unmarried [as a eunuch] careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord [without distraction]:... (v.32)

                                                                                "...that ye may attend upon the Lord [as a eunuch] without distraction" (v.35)

"...All men cannot receive this saying, save they       "But every man hath his proper gift of

to whom it is given." (v.11)                                      God,..." (v.7)

"...He that is able to receive it, let him receive it."     "But if they cannot contain, let them

(v.12c)                                                                     marry: for it is better to marry than to burn [in lust]." (v.9)

                                                                                "but as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk..." (v.17)

                                                                                "Art thou bound unto a wife?  Seek not to be loosed. ..." (v.27)

                                                                                "...if thou marry, thou hast not sinned;..." (v.28)

                                                                                1 Corinthians chapter 9

"Have we not power to lead about a sister a wife, as well as other apostles, and as the brethren of the Lord, and Cephas?" (v. 5)

In thrust, 1 Corinthians chapter 7 is a discouragement from marriage.  This must be contrasted to Paul's instruction given after the events of Acts 28 have passed.  This is why the bulk of instruction for home life is indeed given in the Epistles written after the close of the Acts record. Even in 1 Corinthians chapter 7 (Acts-Period), there is little or no teaching on the character of the family members. This would be found rather in Ephesians, 1 and 2 Timothy and Titus (all Post-Acts Period).  Nevertheless, there are God-ordained principles in 1 Corinthians 7 for our learning which are in no way negated by the progression in revelation past Acts ch. 28.

The practical application of 1 Corinthians 7:1 will keep our young people pure.  This is but one of the texts on which we base the practice of hands-off courtship.  We do not allow our children to date.  Dating leads to holding hands (touching a woman).  Holding hands leads to putting an arm around one's date (touching a woman).  An arm around one's date leads to the embrace (touching a woman).  The embrace leads to caressing and kissing (touching a woman)-and guilt, and unnecessary bonding and wrenching of emotions.  Caressing and kissing leads to fondling and petting (touching a woman)-and more guilt and more unnecessary emotional and spiritual upheaval.  Fondling and petting is already an illicit use of what should only be the marriage bed (touching a woman!!!). The result is even more heaped up guilt, and more fear of discovery by parents, or by a yet future spouse, and fear of pregnancy, and embarrassment and shame!  The Scriptures are crystal clear-"It is good for a man not to touch a woman."  It is the standard of the God of the universe!

Now all the religious pluralists and worldlings and carnal professors of some form or another of modern Christianity so-called gang up on us with this foolish use of the English language: "Don't you know, Preacher, that teenage dating is normal?"  You see, modern man has been so dumbed down that he does not even know the difference between the words 'normal' and 'common.'  Modern users of the English language have also merged the definitions of 'normal' and 'popular.'   Smoking marijuana is popular, but it is not "normal"-it is abnormal!  Colon cancer is common, but it is not "normal"-it is abnormal!  Teenage dating is common, popular, and rampant, but it is not "normal"-it is abnormal, unnecessary, and dangerous to both moral purity and Christian spirituality!

This is proper Biblical teaching for our young people from early childhood.  It will be very difficult to persuade teenagers of these principles if you fail to teach them until you wake up one morning and discover that your children are teenagers.  It will be difficult if your Christian lives to that point are inconsistent.  You will have war on your hands if you wait until you have already had your children in the heathen environment of the government-run public schools or Catholic parochial schools, where the students entice each other to begin the practice of dating: the girlfriend & boyfriend thing.

Several years ago, one of this author's daughters was asked by another missionary's adopted daughter if she would marry a national in the country where we were laboring (which, by the way, would be of a different race).  Two other of the same missionary's daughters (ages 12 and 13, at that time) spoke freely of crushes (aroused emotion or desire) on boys, and of liking boys, and so forth.  Why must such behavior ever become part of the habits of young people?  No, it is not normal!  There is no necessity for professing Christian teenagers to be embroiled with these kinds of emotions and the pursuant temptations and offenses, when they should instead be in obedience to 1 Corinthians 7:34 and Titus 2:4-8.  This author allows no such discussion in our home-either by our own children or by visiting children.

This author's eldest son, Matthew, was married at age twenty to a beautiful young woman named Carrie (see Appendix Nos. 1 and 2).  The author had the honor of officiating over the part of the wedding ceremony wherein the bride's father relinquished his coverture responsibilities and placed her under the coverture of her groom.  At that transfer of coverture, Carrie's father placed her hand into the hand of Matthew.  That was the very first time Matthew had ever touched a woman in any way except for his own mother and sisters in their proper relationships.

Neither Matthew nor Carrie had had any previous boyfriend-girlfriend relationships.  The couple didn't date!  After proper and adequate introduction of families, and after both sets of parents agreed in conference, Matthew and Carrie began a hands-off courtship.  That is, they saw each other only under parental supervision, or that of other godly adult chaperones.  They were never alone.  They never held hands.  They entered marriage pure, untouched, guilt-free, without being traumatized by unharnassed teenage emotion, and with no fear of what might be discovered.  More importantly, Matthew and Carrie entered marriage with a clean and bright testimony of devotion to the Lord Jesus Christ.  They are an example to be emulated by other young people.  Parents and friends on both sides are extremely pleased and thankful to the Lord.

1 Cor. 7:2, 7, 9, 39.  Marriage in the Lord, and only in the Lord, is God's answer to avoid the practice of illicit sexual behavior and lust.  A man is to have his own wife, and the wife is to have her own husband.  God's standard has always been one wife for life or one husband for life (unless there is a parting by death), the failure of man in this regard not withstanding (Genesis 2:20-24; Matthew 19:3-9).

"In the Lord" and "in Christ" are not synonymous concepts.  Marriage to someone who is saved-that is, "in Christ" is the very minimum standard, but it is not the only standard.  One may marry a Christian and yet be entirely outside of God's will in doing so.  Marriage in the Lord involves marrying another child of God with the added stipulation that the marriage be under the absolute Lordship of Jesus Christ.  Too many sets of Christian parents are content only that their child is to marry another professing believer.  What a low estimation of Christ's purposes in marriage do we have in our churches today!!

Seven Minimum Prerequisites for Marriage in the Lord

We have the purpose that our children will marry only in the Lord: therefore, we have the following (among other) rules for first consideration before courtship:

  1. Any young man being interested in knowing something about one of this author's daughters must approach this author first, to inquire as to the potential availability of his daughter, and inquire as to the terms. This may be in person or by letter. Any young man who approaches the daughter before he approaches her father is subject to disqualification.  A young man who will approach a young woman about her availability before seeking out her father's approval proves he comes from a background of little or no real Biblical training.

  1. Any young man approaching this father with regard to his daughter must be able to testify clearly and Biblically (without coaching) as to the faith of Christ.  He must be able to give a Biblical explanation for sins being forgiven.  He must know assuredly that he is a child of God.

  1. The young man must also bear evidence of soundness in Bible doctrine.

  1. The young man must be obviously separated from the world, and devoted to Christ and to His work.  Further, there must be evidence that such separation and devotion existed in the young man long prior to him having any knowledge of this author's daughter.

  1. The young man must have a non-dating background and have no intention of dating.  If courtship is finally agreed upon (and "courtship" is a subject in itself), the young man must be content to see the young lady only in the presence of family, the church, and/or spiritual adult chaperones until marriage.

  1. The young man must have some expression of how his own future home will be used for the furtherance of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and how it will be given to the Lord entirely to exemplify on earth Christ and His Church.
  • a. He must reject the concept of his wife working outside the home (excepting partnership with him in a family-based enterprise). He must reject the modern philosophy that "it requires two separate incomes to survive these days."
  • b. He must reject the United Nations Organization and [xii]Club of Rome doctrine of limited family sizes (e.g. average of two children per family).
  • c. He must reject state or non-fundamental Christian education for his children.
  • d. He must reject state licensure of marriage.

  1. There must be public knowledge and testimony that the interested young man has the discipline and willingness to work with his own hands to support and care for a wife and children.  A lazy or undisciplined man is wasting his time approaching this author in regard to one of his daughters.

This author's sons are being trained to meet these minimum prerequisites-and more!

Headship as an Ordinance

1 Cor. 11:3-16.  This is not a typical or picture ordinance for the local Church, but is a practical and protective (coverture) ordinance for the home.  If observed, it enhances the testimony of the Church.

  • 1. The Head of every man is Christ, not the bishop or pastor of the local church. By the way, the pastor is never called the "head" of anything in his office. If husbands and fathers took their headship seriously, the bishops would have no room, and feel no need, to usurp the father's/husband's role in our homes.
  • 2. The head of the woman is the man: her husband, or her father (if unmarried). The bishop or the pastor of the local church is not the head of any woman except his own wife.
  • 3. The Head of Christ is God the Father.

Longhaired prophets (preachers) and longhaired men praying in public dishonor Christ (v. 4).  Shorthaired women who pray or prophesy (permitted in the Acts period in the presence of Jews as a sign-see Joel chapter 2-but forbidden now) dishonor their husbands.  A woman with short hair (that approaching the appearance of a man) is indicating rebellion against her husband, and that she might even slip out and practice prostitution (v.5).  If the appearance of a harlot (shorn or short-haired) be shameful, then the Christian woman is not to be confused with such a wicked testimony. That is, a Christian woman should let her grow her hair long!  A Christian woman cannot have it both ways.  Don't have a confusing testimony by your appearance.

If I needed a Bible verse to indicate the length of Jesus' hair during His earthly ministry, I would go to verse 7.  Since Jesus was the image of the invisible God (Hebrews 1:3; Colossians 1:15), I know that Jesus' head was not covered.  He did not have long hair.  Jesus' "locks [were] bushy, and black as a raven."  (Song of Solomon 5:11).  "Bushy" does not mean long.

A look at the animal kingdom will illustrate how that "nature itself [does] teach you, that if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him." (v.14)  The male lion has the long hair, not the female.  The male peacock has the colorful plumage, not the female.  Man is not a part of the animal kingdom, the views of such idiots as Charles Darwin notwithstanding.

The woman, being the glory of the man, is to have her head "covered," that is, longhaired.  Her long hair indicates that she understands the creation and God's purposes.  She testifies by her covering that she accepts her husband's or her father's coverture protection and authority, and expects God's blessings on her for her submission.  The woman's hair is given her for a covering (v.15), and not a hat, bonnet, scarf, doily, napkin, or any other man-made object.

There are some Baptists and some Brethren who believe in a "double covering" on a woman.  They say, "Oh, the woman's hair is her glory, and she shouldn't want to emphasize her own glory in the assembly, so she should wear something to cover her own glory."  People who think this way have their women folk to place a doily or a scarf on top of their head during public worship (and some, even in private worship).  But 1 Corinthians chapter 7 never mentions anything or any material as a covering except the hair itself. No mention is made of any man-made material or object to go on the head. If woman practice the "double covering" concept in a church where all women practice this, that's fine. But when a woman wears a doily on her head in any other assembly, she actually defeats her purpose in wear a man-made covering, because she draws the attention of everyone else directly to her own hair.

The Russian Baptist women, along with virtually all other religious women in Russia, believe that they cannot be right with God without wearing a scarf or shawl on her head, not only in church, but at all times. 

A woman out from under her head (her husband or her father) is especially susceptible and vulnerable to the influence of angels which kept not their first estate (v. 10 with 1 Timothy 2:11-15 and 2 Corinthians 11:3).  Eve was deceived by an angel of light (2 Corinthians 11:14) when she was away from the protection of Adam's authority. Adam should have been the one to deal with the Serpent (Genesis chapter 3).  Satan and his angels are roaming about ready to destroy families in which the women (wives and daughters) are leaving the home and placing themselves under the headship of those who are not their own husbands (or fathers).  Satan is destroying (or marginalizing the testimony of) churches where women teach or usurp authority over the man.  Satan is bringing in confusion and destruction in many churches where the pastor's wife is the de facto co-pastor; where she is mouthy and bossy, and not shamefaced.  A mouthy and bossy pastor's wife cannot be described as a godly or virtuous woman.

1 Cor. 13:4-8.  If observed in the home, the principles of these verses will minimize the influences which otherwise tend to split homes.

Charity, n. 1. In a general sense, love, benevolence, good will; that disposition of heart which inclines men to think favorably of their fellow men, and to do them good.  In a theological sense, it includes supreme love to God, and universal good will to men.  1 Cor. xiii. Col. iii.  1 Tim. i.

  1. Charity is longsuffering; patient, etc.
  2. Charity is kind.
  3. Charity rules out envy; it enhances contentment.
  4. Charity doesn't (vaunt) cause boasting or vain displays of supposed personal worth or possessions.
  5. Charity will prevent us from acting as if we are better than others (puffed up).
  6. Charity will cause us to walk and act decently and becomingly.
  7. Charity will prevent selfishness.
  8. Charity will prevent sins that result from the passion of the moment, especially the sins of the tongue and offenses of the pen.
  9. Charity doesn't spend time devising courses of revenge or how to do evil to or with others; nor does it plan immoral behavior.
  10. Charity is not pleased when others fall into iniquity thus ruining their testimonies for Christ.
  11. Charity has a great interest and investment in truth.
  12. Charity operates effectively through opposition, hardships, and persecutions; through false accusations and slanders; through unkindness from without, and misunderstandings from within.
  13. Charity does not operate with a spirit of suspicion.
  14. Charity is always looking heavenward for the future.
  15. Charity will not wear out, where feigned love will.


Gal. 4:1, 2.  The context deals with doctrine: being as a servant under law in contrast to being a son under Grace.  Still, there is a principle here regarding the education of children.  The "heir" or "child" "is under tutors and governors until the time appointed of the father."  The tutors and governors are chosen by the father, not by the state.  The time span in which the child is under tutors and governors is determined by the father, not by the state!  That means that the subject matter of the child's education and training is determined by the father, and not by the state.

First Thessalonians

1 Thess. 4:11, 12.  Fathers and sons are to work with their own hands.  The Scriptures sanctify manual labor (Genesis 1:15; 3:17-19; Ecclesiastes 3:13).  The Christian applying a Biblical work ethic enhances his testimony among them that are without (the unsaved).  Further, lack and want, begging and the need for public welfare are minimized.  Being on the public dole should be repugnant to the Christian!

Here is also the basis for the prerequisite to courtship, requiring the young man to have already developed industry, a work ethic, self-discipline and the ability to support a wife and children.  Such development should stem from his father's training and tutorship, and not be left to develop after the young man becomes interested in a damsel.

Second Thessalonians

2 Thess. 3:6-12.  Again, to walk orderly is for the Christian to work quietly and to eat his own bread; bread that he earned with his own labor.  The biblical work ethic will prevent the Christian from being a busybody, as he will have no time to be "a meddling person; one who officiously concerns himself with the affairs of others." (American Dictionary of the English Language, Noah Webster, 1828)


Heb. 12:9-11.  The Bible assumes from first to last that it is the father's responsibility to "correct" his children.  Correction includes "chastisement" (v.8).  Correction means the changing of evil or obnoxious behavior into respectable adult behavior.  Adult behavior can actually be achieved early in childhood-the earlier the better for the entire family and for your friends, and for the church.  Parents ought to feel deeply ashamed when their children are habitually obnoxious, clownish, noisy, troublesome, destructive, mistrusted and/or disruptive.  When others are afraid to have personal belongings out and in view because they fear your children will steal, damage or upset them, you ought to wonder why you are not more embarrassed.  Correct discipline, as described earlier in this book will "[yield] the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them (the children) which are exercised thereby."

Heb. chapter 13.  Interestingly, Hebrews 13:2 will correspond to Matthew chapter 24.  Hebrews 13:3 will correspond to Matthew chapter 25.  Hebrews 13:4 then has something to do with a believing remnant of the Nation of Israel (as in Hebrews!) finally being married to Her long sought-after Stranger, the Messiah, Jesus the Lord.  The whore of Revelation chs. 17 & 18 will finally be judged.  The entire thirteenth chapter is forward looking to the culmination and the seeking for the coming of the New Jerusalem (v. 14).

In the sense of the Second Coming, therefore, Hebrews 13:4 is very much related to all we have said about 1 Corinthians ch. 7 and Matthew ch. 19.  In practicality, however, the principle is pan-dispensational.  God honored marriage according to His revelation in the Old Testament.  He honored marriage in the times of our Lord's earthly sojourn.  God honors marriage in our day.  He will honor marriage right on until the culmination of the age and the Age of ages.  The only (sexual) bed God will not judge is that within marriage as He himself revealed it in Genesis 2:24.  Marriage is a lifetime sojourn for one man with one woman.  God will judge whoremongers and adulterers and sodomites!

(III.) General Epistles

These epistles are, of course, not Pauline, but we include them for comparison purposes as well as application to our homes remembering 2 Timothy 3:16, 17.

First Peter

1 Pet. 3:1-7.  The word "conversation" as used in the King James Bible is not archaic, but is very up to date according to all comprehensive dictionaries of the English language for the past two hundred years and right up to the present.  For examples:

According to Noah Webster's 1828 American Dictionary of the English Language, Conversation, n. General course of manners; behavior; deportment; especially as it respects morals.

      Let your conversation be as becometh the gospel. Phil. i.

       Be ye holy in all manner of conversation.  1 Pet. i.

Now the 1828 definition is exactly correct.  So it is no wonder that the Tenth Edition of the Merriam Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, 1998, gives that supposedly obsolete definition as the very first definition: Conversation, n.  1. obs: CONDUCT, BEHAVIOR.

You see, the etymologists and philologists of the world, as much as they hate God and His word, will never be able to get away from the definitions of God's Final Authority, the King James Bible.

1 Peter 3:1, then, is related to Ephesians 5:24.  A lost husband may see the reality of Christianity in the conduct and behavior of his saved wife and be won to Christ by her living testimony.  The verse in no way contradicts Romans 10:17.  The lost husband will still have to repent and believe the written Revelation of God, the Bible, concerning the redemptive work of Christ in order to be saved.  The chaste "conversation," of the wife (v.2) can be the impetus to bring her husband to the word of God in belief.  "Chaste" is properly defined in this book under the discussion of Titus 2:2; which see.

This passage will tell any honest Christian woman how to dress, wear her hair, and adorn herself; and how not to.  The principle is simple.  The woman's dress, hair and adornment should be a visible indicator that she is under subjection to her own husband (vv. 5,6).  Simple!  Her husbands hair is short, therefore hers is long (see 1 Corinthians chapter 11).  Her husband wears trousers, therefore she wears modest dresses or skirts.  Her clothing is simple and not luxurious; nor is it attention-getting.  She does not call attention to herself using jewelry.  Her "adorning" is Christ, "the hidden man of the heart," and her "ornament" is "a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price." (v.4)  Women who seek the smile of God have Sarah, Abraham's wife, as their model, and don't need the world's fashion magazines or shows or department store catalogues to know how to dress.  Biblical Christian women are not interested in what is popular, but what honors the headship of their husbands and the Lordship of their Savior.

The knowledge of the husband is to include:

  • 1. His coverture responsibility. " honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel..." (v.7), as well as...
  • 2. The truth of their joint-heirship in Christ, where there is neither male or female. "being heirs together of the grace of life."

If a husband will get these two things squared away in his thinking, he will do well as a husband and father.


Let's determine to bring the strength of biblically ordered and disciplined families to the work of God in the local churches.  Local church pastors can not train families. Fathers must train their own families according to the words of the Holy Bible.  Fathers must be the pastors indeed of their own households. The local church bishop is to teach the Bible in such a way as to incite Christian men to "pastor" their own homes. The bishop must teach the Scriptures in such a way that will direct the attention of wives to their own husbands, and cause the wives to expect a pastoral role to be carried out by their husbands (1 Corinthians 14:35).

Let's return to biblical discipline of children, even if such discipline runs counter to the New World Order, United Nations conventions on the rights of the child, our culture or our relatives.

Let's begin educating our own children instead of allowing them to learn the ways of the heathen (see Jeremiah 10:2) in the public or religious (especially Catholic) parochial schools.

Let's plan family and home-based enterprises wherein husbands, wives and children may all work together to meet the needs of the family, instead of sending Mom out to work for someone who is not her own husband.

Let's train our children to meet the very strictest prerequisites for Christ-honoring courtship, marriage and raising our grandchildren.



This section is for any who believe in biblical marriage between a man and a woman, without the state as a third contractual party by licensure. The issue of licensure is almost a non-issue anymore for young couples who intend to serve God on a foreign mission field. By the time a couple supplies enough documentation for passports, especially if children are already in the home, they may consider their marriage "licensed."  By the time a couple supplies adequate marriage documentation to any given foreign government(s), verifying marital status for the purpose of obtaining visas, they may consider their marriage "licensed."

One reason that we object to state licensure of marriage is to deny to any court that the products of marriage, our children, belong to the state.  The courts in the United States today, however, are not going to care whether we have an actual marriage license filed in any court house. The judges today will treat our marriages the same way they treat any licensed marriages, because it is their mind set that children belong to the state regardless of what papers are, or are not, filed. The courts, by and large, are Bible-rejecting, God-hating institutions. Judges will take our children, by force, if necessary, at the behest of our humanistic, atheistic, socialist state agencies, and they will not be concerned about whether there was a marriage license prior to the birth of any children.  If missionary couples have all the documentation for the obtaining of passports and visas, with joint family name, and all the rest, no court is going to view their marriage as "unlicensed" by the state, regardless of our arguments. But for those who want to maintain that their marriage is unlicensed, the following format is, we believe, valid.

You may use the documents herein as models for your own.  Where we know these to have been used, they were archived by the church after the weddings.  They have not, to our knowledge, been recorded in any county courthouse.  Recording these completed documents with the county recorder (of deeds, marriages, &c.) is an option, but must be weighed carefully.

Another document of which to consider the use, is the traditional guest book itself.  If you have a large enough invitation list, this will give you a longer list of witnesses to a Biblical Coverture Marriage.  The front leaf of the guest book could contain a statement, which we have also included.

We are presently working on a book regarding the overall subject of Biblical Coverture Marriage.  It will explain the concept, and will contain charts that will illustrate the consequences of the state being a contractual part of your marriage and home.  Until this book is completed, you may write for further information to:


P.O. Box 95

Campbellsburg, IN  47108


"COVERTURE" - In law, the state of a married woman, who is considered as under cover, or the power of her husband, and therefore called a feme-covert, or femme-covert.  The coverture of a woman disables her from making contracts to the prejudice of herself or husband, without his allowance or confirmation.  [From Blackstone's Commentary.]

FOR ___________________________AND __________________________

                                (Groom)                                                                                   (Bride)

The above named man and woman did appear before me,      (Minister)       and other Ministers of the Gospel on   (Day and Month)    , in the Year of our Lord,           (Year)      at    (Time of Day)     , for a public ceremony to unite them in Holy Matrimony in obedience to the instructions of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ as revealed in the sacred Scriptures.  Matthew 19:4-6.


__________________________                   ___________________________

Groom's Father                                                                                              Bride's Father

__________________________                   ___________________________

Groom's Mother                                                                                             Bride's Mother


We are met upon this occasion to establish a new home, and not only a new home, but the most wonderful thing in all the world - a Christian home, by joining this man and this woman in matrimony according to the plan revealed in the Scriptures.  In this joining, these two become one flesh according to the inspired word of God.  Matthew 2:24; Matthew 19:5

The Scriptures teach the marriage of one man and one woman as a divine institution and a divine act uniting husband and wife in a relationship closer and more binding than the relationship between parents and children and so unifying them that they cease to be two and become one flesh - a union that can be dissolved only by death.

And now, if before God, these Ministers of the Gospel, and these other witnesses you pledge to live with the other as husband and wife, and you also pledge to raise any children with which God may bless you according to the precepts and principles of the Bible, God's Word, you may indicate the same by affixing your signatures below:


I,       (Groom)           , take      (Bride)       to be my lawful wedded wife, to love as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for it, to cherish, to protect, to comfort, in health and in sickness, in prosperity and in adversity, forsaking all others and cleaving to her and to her only, so long as we both shall live.  I vow to fulfill my Biblical responsibility to bring up any Children with which God pleases to bless our union in the fear and admonition of the Lord. I place the ring upon      (Bride's)         finger as a symbol of my unending and abiding affection and love, pledged to her in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.


(Groom's Signature)


I,           (Bride)           , take       (Groom)          to be my lawful wedded husband, to love, to cherish, to comfort, in health and in sickness, in prosperity and in adversity, forsaking all others and cleaving to him and to him only, so long as we both shall live.  I vow to be faithful and obedient only unto him, and submit myself in all things unto my husband as my head as does the Church unto Christ until the Lord dissolves this holy union in death.  I further vow to support my husband's Biblical efforts to bring up, in the fear and admonition of the Lord, any Children with which God pleases to bless our union. I place the ring upon (Groom's)                 finger as a symbol of my unending and abiding love, pledged to him in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.


(Bride's Signature)


For as much as you,     (Groom)             , and you,    (Bride)             , have thus promised and engaged, and together have pledged your troth, I do according to the ordinance of God and upon the authority vested in me as a minister of His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, who ordained the institution of marriage in the dawn of the centuries before any other earthly entity or ordinance (Romans 13:1-7), pronounce you husband and wife in interest and destiny, as in affection, one.

What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder.

I,         (Minister)        , hereby certify that          (Groom)                    and              (Bride)           were joined together in the Holy State of Matrimony on this 6th day of June, in the year of our Lord, 1998, by me at the Greg McCoy residence, county of Orange, state of Indiana.

Witness (Friend of Groom)                                                                           Date

Witness (Friend of Bride)                                                                             Date

Minister (Name & Office)                                                                            Date

Church (Name & Location or Address)

Ecclesiastical (Embossed or Printed) Seal,                                                                                    

Minister of the Gospel                                                                        Date

Minister of the Gospel                                                                        Date

Minister of the Gospel                                                                        Date


We       (Groom)                 and             (Bride)            , having received the Lord Jesus Christ as our personal Lord and Saviour (2 Corinthians 6:14), hold the following sincerely and truly held Biblical Christian convictions.  We believe that the institution of marriage was ordained of God before any other institution, including civil government.  We believe marriage between a man and woman to be an inalienable right (Genesis 2:21-25).  We find it abhorrent to seek the permission of a secular/non-Christian state to do that which is under the direct jurisdiction of our Lord Jesus Christ and is an inalienable right.


We believe the Holy Scriptures to be clear in regards to the husband as the head of the wife, and she shall bear the husband's family name. Genesis 2:21-23; 5:1; 1 Corinthians 11:3.

We also understand the responsibility that this places upon the husband.  He is to love his wife by providing for her physically and spiritually.  Ephesians 5:1, 21, 23.  We further believe that the wife is to be in subjection to her own husband, except where obedience would be in direct disobedience to the laws of God as revealed in the Holy Bible.  Genesis 3:16; Ephesians 5:22-24; Acts 5:29.

We believe the marriage bed is undefiled.  Therefore the intimate act of marriage is God's wedding gift to a man and his wife.  Genesis 2:23-25; 24:62-67; Proverbs 5:18-23; Matthew 19:4-6; 1 Corinthians 7:1-5; Ephesians 5:21; Hebrews 13:4.

On the basis that we are considered one flesh in the sight of God, and as natural born citizens of       (Country)          , we claim and reserve the Biblical and Constitutional right not to testify against husband or wife.  Genesis 2:23-24; Matthew 19:4-6; Ephesians 5:21-25, 28, 29-33;  (Your Country's Constitutional Provisions, if any)

On the same basis that we are one flesh in the sight of God, we hold all temporal property and resources common and for intermutual use for the Glory of God our Savior.


We also declare that if God so pleases to bless this union with children, that these children are the heritage of the Lord, are placed under this sanctified marriage for stewardship, and shall bear the family name of THEIR FATHER.  Psalm 127:3.  The children are not the possession of the state.  God has given them to the parents for the purpose of provision, protection, and training.  Proverbs 22:6.  We believe that this training is to prepare the children for God's exclusive use, for His honor and glory, and for a testimony of His Grace in this world.

We believe that the training of our children includes the prayerful use of Scripturally prescribed corporal punishment.  Proverbs 13:24; 19:18; 20:30; 22:8,15; 23:13,14; 29:15,17.

We believe that the training of our children includes our choice, under the direction of God's Holy Spirit, of Christian Biblical and formal education.  We believe that education is to be Christian and Biblical in all aspects.  We also believe that government/public education as presently instituted and administered in the United States is designed for indoctrination rather than education.  We believe it to be a sin to expose our children to this anti-God/anti-Christ social experiment.    Jeremiah 10:2; Ephesians 6:2.

We further purpose that if God in His sovereignty sees fit to orphan our children, they shall fall under the jurisdiction of the HUSBAND'S father and his patriarchal discernment.  If the HUSBAND'S father is deceased at the time of the aforementioned orphanage, the WIFE'S father shall assume patriarchal jurisdiction over the children from this union.

We also declare that we are neither blood brother, sister, or First Cousins; and that neither of us has a venereal disease.

(Signature)                                                                                                      (Signature)

______________________________          ___________________________

(Groom's Printed Name),   Groom                                    (Bride's Printed Name),   Bride

Groom's Date of Birth____________             Bride's Date of Birth__________

Address _______________________          Address____________________

______________________________          ___________________________

Telephone No.__________________            Telephone No._______________


Groom's Father                                                     Bride's Father

Date___________________                           Date__________________

Witness                                                                 Date

Witness                                                                 Date

Witness                                                                 Date

Witness                                                                 Date

[Ecclesiastical (Embossed or Printed Seal) Seal






Matthew Patenaude & Carrie McCoy

June 6, 1998

Orange County, Indiana

Under the Ecclesiastical Authority of Old Paths Baptist Church

Of  Washington County, Indiana

Brother John Lewis, Pastor


Instrumental: Beckisue Cosby

Vocal: Hannah Cleghorn, Desiree White, Melissa Shepherd, Jennifer Oliver

Seating of Grandparents

Ushers: Daniel Cleghorn, Jack Oliver, Lenny Houston, Kelly White

Seating of Mothers

Vocal: Jennifer Oliver

Groom and Groomsmen Take Their Place Up Front

Jim McCarty, Nathan Lewis, Lucas McCoy, Nathan McCoy

Procession of Bride's Party

Hannah McCoy

Liberty Patenaude

Danielle Patenaude

Naomi Lewis

Sarah Lewis

Katie McCoy & Abram Patenaude

Bride & Father

Wedding Ceremony Begins

Brother Bob Patenaude, Officiating Minor

"In the presence of God, and before these ministers of the Gospel, and this congregation, we have gathered to witness the union of Matthew and Carrie in marriage.  I require and charge you both that the vows you vow this day are sacred above words, for the place whereon you stand is Holy Ground, and the vows you vow before these witnesses are to God."

To the Father of the Bride:

"By walking down this isle, are you and your wife affirming your belief that this union is in fulfillment of the will of God?"


                "And are you giving your full blessing to the marriage of your daughter to this man?"


                "And do you hereby transfer your God-given responsibility for the care and protection of your daughter to this man?"


                To the Groom:

                "Do you, Matthew, joyfully and willingly accept the responsibility for the care and protection of Carrie?"


Father of the Bride places the Bride's hand in the Groom's hand


Message by Brother Bob Patenaude

Bride and groom

Recital of I Corinthians 13

Brother John Lewis, Officiating Senior

                To the Groom:

                "Matthew, you are now entering a relationship with many privileges, but also many obligations.  The woman you love is about to become your wife - in no other way could she so tell of her love for you as by her willingness to turn from home, loved ones, and friends to make her home with you and abide under your protective cover.  Your joys are her joys, your sorrows, her sorrows, and your people, her people."

                To the Bride:

                "Carrie, you too are entering a relationship with many privileges and obligations.  The man you love is about to become your husband, protector, and provider.  He tells the world not only of his willingness, but of his express desire to turn from all others and to you for all of your life ahead.  Your love will be his inspiration, your prayers his tower of strength.

The Bride and Groom Sing - "God Has Given You To Me"

Message by Brother John Lewis

                To the Groom:

                "Repeat after me these words:

                "I Matthew, do vow with Almighty God to accept the responsibility of fulfilling my Biblical duties of Husband to Carrie as prescribed in His Holy Word:  To love her as Christ also loved the Church, to be faithful only unto her; to give myself sacrificially for her as Christ did for the Church; to cherish her as the weaker vessel, being patient, always trusting, gracious, selfless, edifying, and encouraging in all things, enduring any and all of her sufferings until the LORD dissolves this holy union in death."

                To the Bride:

                "Repeat after me these words:

                "I Carrie, do vow with almighty God to accept the responsibility of fulfilling my duties as the wife of Matthew in obedience to God's Holy Word:  To be faithful and obedient only unto him, to turn from all others and submit myself in all things unto my husband as my head as does the Church unto Christ until the LORD dissolves this holy union in death."

                To the Groom:

                "Matthew,  as God pleases to bless this union by giving the two of you children, do you vow to fulfill your responsibility to bring up those children in the fear and admonition of the Lord?"


                To the Bride:

                "Carrie, as God pleases to bless this union by giving the two of you children, do you vow to support your husband in his Biblical duties to raise those children in the fear and admonition of the Lord?"


The Ring Ceremony

The Best Man, Brother Jim McCarty, hands the Ring to the Pastor

                "This ring symbolizes in the circle of its structure an unending and abiding love, in its brightness, the glory of this sacred relationship, in purity of its material, the purity of this most intimate of all earthly unions in the sight of our holy God."

                To the Groom:

                "Will you take this ring, Matthew, and place it upon Carrie's finger as you repeat to her, after me, these words?:

                "I, Matthew, take thee, Carrie, to be my wedded wife, and with this ring I thee wed, and all my worldly goods I thee endow.  I will love, honor, keep and comfort thee, in sickness and in health, in poverty and in wealth, ‘till death do us part'."

"Matthew, it is also carrie's desire that you too shall wear a ring as a reminder of this coverture you vow before God and this company.  As she places it on your finger, and as you wear it proudly before men, it will proclaim to all the world that your marriage belongs to God."

The Bridesmaid, Sister Sarah Lewis, hands the Ring to the Pastor

                To the Bride:

                "Will you, Carrie, place the ring upon Matthew's finger, as you repeat to him, after me, these words?:

                "I, Carrie, take thee, Matthew, to be my wedded husband, and with this ring I thee wed, and all my worldly goods I thee endow.  I will love, honor, obey, and comfort thee, in sickness and in health, in poverty and in wealth, ‘till death do us part'."

                To Bride and Groom:

                "And now, having pledged your love for and loyalty to God and to each other, and having sealed the pledges with the wedding rings, I do, by the authority of the glorified Head of the Church and as an ambassador of the living God, pronounce you husband and wife."

                To Groom:

                "You may now kiss your bride."

Signing of the Document

Closing Prayer by Brother William Gore

Brother John Lewis Presents the Couple.....

                "I now have the pleasure to introduce to you  --

Mr. & Mrs. Matthew Patenaude.

----What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder!"



[i] Noah Webster is described as the founding father of American scholarship and education.  His dictionary of 1828 was the standard until the invasion of the American education system by the humanist movement initiated in the early 20th century.  Many of us Bible-believers still consider the 1828 dictionary of Mr. Webster the standard as it contains accurate English usage as found in the preserved Bible for the English-speaking world - the King James Bible.

[ii] Christian Filipinos tell me that, in Batangas Province (Southern Luzon Island), the families are run 90% by the women and only 10% by the men.  Sad!  Un-Scriptural!  This violates God's good order!

The following are the comments of a former missionary to the Pacific Islands:

"I have the 20/20 vision of looking over my shoulder- (hind sight). The different island peoples have different attitudes towards men/women relation[s]--

"Pohnpei people - The larger the wife the more you love her-- (What GREAT love some men had for their female counter-part! AWESOME!) The women didn't think they were loved if the didn't receive a sound beating occasionally!

"Mokielise people- (90 miles away from Pohnpei) The men have different view on their women and they too have been known to take their little women (unlike the Pohnpei people) to the coconut grove and beat them nearly to death!!.

"Pingalapese (another 135 miles away)  More female domination, more effeminacy-and sodomites-"

[iii] Reference is made to Genesis 1:28.

[iv] Hopefully this further explains Four Churches:

Page 4 - "Nowhere did John, Jesus, or the Disciples declare or even intimate that anything like the Body of Christ was "at hand" during their earthly ministries."

                Page 7 - The age we inhabit now was a mystery hid in God from the foundation of the world.  Even God's Apostle Paul, with advanced revelation from Christ as the ascended Head of the Church, had no idea that this present age would last beyond his own lifetime, let alone for the following two millennia!  Paul was looking for the Son of God from Heaven (1 Thessalonians 1:10) - not for local church perpetuity - until his head was removed in Rome. Nowhere did the Apostles teach local church perpetuity, succession, or the concept of the necessity of a 'mother church'."   "[To] Preach that the kingdom of heaven is at hand (e.g., very near; ready to be established at that time) not preaching that the Church or a Church Age is at hand.

Page 14 - "...that God will include [the saint in Christ] when God calls the Body on high to meet the Head...does not depend on whether the local church of which you are a member can prove any line of succession back through history to the Apostles...&c."

                Endnotes - [The members in the Church in Jerusalem] were waiting for Israel to repent and waiting for the fulfillment of Daniel 9, Joel 2 and the Second Advent, which they had the Scriptural right to look for upon the repentance of their nation (Acts 3:19-21).  They were not looking for a "church age" to commence."

[v] Try placing your child on a chair for ten minutes of quietness each evening for one week.  The location should be with family - not alone.  No television should be on!  Reading to the child is a good idea.  The second week, increase the time to fifteen or even twenty minutes each evening.  Continue increasing the time, week after week, until the child can sit calmly and quietly, with no television(!), for at least two hours.  Reading or coloring with good calm behavior is permissible.  The use of the rod will be necessary for this training.  Fathers must learn not to threaten - but to act!

[vi] The reader should not take the phrase "our American Baptist forefathers" in a nationalistic sense.  The emphasis of the author is on the name "Baptist."  It just so happens that the forefathers in the faith for Baptists in the Philippines and other areas of Asia are in a historical line strung through North America, and the United States in particular.

[vii] The Church, since Acts 28, is not looking for the Kingdom to be established, but is looking for Her high calling (Ephesians 1:18; Philippians 3:14, 20, 21; 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18; 1 Corinthians 15:51-57; other)-commonly called "the rapture."  Although the Kingdom (Christ's Millennial Reign) will be established on Earth sometime around seven years after the Church's removal from the earth, that is not the Church's focus at this time.

[viii] We notice that in Asia, disobedience in children is considered culturally acceptable.  If my observation is wrong, then somebody please tell me why Filipino parents do not correct their children, and will almost never discipline their children for public misbehavior.  We notice that Filipino children are virtually never properly disciplined for handling the private property of other people.  Failure to firmly correct hands that touch everything belonging to everybody is paramount to training children to be thieves, kleptomaniacs, shoplifters, pickpockets and vandals.

[ix] We are only guessing at the accuracy of the spellings of the names we heard on this radio report and so we have placed the family names in brackets.  Accuracy may be confirmed by direct contact with the British Broadcasting Company, Bush House, London, England.

[x] Holy Women, A Study Guide for Christian Ladies, Second Edition, by James W. Knox, no copyright claimed.  Brother Knox is pastor of The Bible Baptist Church, 872 Glenwood Road, Deland, Florida  32720, USA.  We recommend the books by Brother Knox.  Write to him for a catalog.

[xi] This introduction to Colonel Hackworth is from Colonel David Hackworth's Web Page:  "Currently a syndicated columnist for King Features (Defending America), David Hackworth is co-author of the 1989 international best seller, "About Face," subtitled, "The Odyssey of an American Warrior," and the subsequent "Brave Men."  He also co-authored the "Vietnam Primer -- the fighting man's bible for guerrilla warfare in Vietnam" which was published by the Pentagon and used as a training manual during the Vietnam War -- and "Hazardous Duty" which has been a best seller all around America and is still on the shelves in paperback."

[xii] See Prince Charles, the Sustainable Prince, by Joan Veon, Hearthstone Publishing, Ltd., P.O. Box 815, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma  73101, USA, pp. 41-43.

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Pauline Instruction For the Home by Robert Edgar Patenaude, Th.D. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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